Page 1

I guess I’ve always thought about blogging. I wanted a record of certain things. Maybe I also wanted a cathartic release of my feelings. I, like many people, have a certain habit of holding thoughts in a and then releasing them at inappropriate times – i.e., at the flaky painter, or the employee who doesn’t show up to work. No, I don’t yell and scream at them, but I call them out. Brutally. I know it’s not healthy. I also know it isn’t kind. I believe that as humans, we have a certain obligation to evolve. Some of us get stuck. I would like very much not to. There have been many places in my personal journey that if I were to get stuck at, it would leave me a blubbering pile of flesh and bones, curled up on the floor in the fetal position. Hard to raise kids like that. Or find happiness. No thanks.

Sooo….here we are.

I’m 36 years old and have been married for 9 years. I have 3 amazing boys who are my heart. I don’t always do the right thing for them, but I try my hardest to do better when I eff up. I’m fairly structured with my kids, as I didn’t have much of that growing up. Not cuckoo structured – but, I’m guessing those cuckoo moms don’t really think they’re cuckoo structured either. Feed the boys healthy food. Organic when convenient, small sweet daily. I guess my philosophy is everything in moderation. Don’t go crazy here, “everything” doesn’t literally mean “everything”.

I struggle with the changes that occur with my boys so quickly. Their ages are 7, 5, and 15 month ; Reef, Ripp Kai, and Wilder, respectively. My 7 year year old is very literal. Like his dad. Very science oriented. He has to be pushed to do physical sports. Yes, we push. Let me just add that he has a great time once he’s up and moving. Usually has to be pushed to stop, as well. Know thy children. We aren’t a big sports oriented family, but do push individual sports. Reef  has been riding horses and gymnastics for 3 years and karate for almost a year. Ripp Kai, gymnastics for 3 years and horseback riding on the occassion he feels up to it. He is much more physical, so I worry less about his physical foundation, if you will. They both also have been skiing since they were 3.

Ripp Kai is my character. He is very dramatic and emotional. He is also the kid that can make me laugh. I mean truly laugh. He has always had a love for dresses and anything traditionally girl-oriented. I mean, always. For his 2nd birthday, he wanted a baby stroller in pink. Saw it, and fell in love with it.  I am fiercely protective of him and feel passionate about allowing him to be who he is, without squashing his spirit. He is also aware that many people will be cruel because they think he should be who THEY want him to be. When he is home, he is exactly who he wants to be. I am his mother. My job is to love him and nurture the man he will become. Whoever that is.

Wilder is the baby. He’s got a very sweet spirit and is the seperation anxiety kid. Not terribly, but because my first 2 were –  and still are – mama’s boys, I just had only experienced the “okay, see ya later, mom” attitude. So, Wi has the label of seperation anxiety kid. Of course we don’t tell him this. I think it may be because I was home full time with my older boys, so getting away from me on occassion was fun. Whereas Wilder started having a sitter 3 days a week after he turned a year old. Or, maybe they just are who they are.  Wilder is the snuggler and seriously very smart. Yes, all mothers think this, but he knows about 10 words in sign language,  on top of his regular words. He can escape through the baby gates and the front door already. Scared me so much, I felt nauseous. As I said, I find it difficult to keep up with their constant evolution.

As for the hubby, he is an amazing man who has been very patient with my own personal evolution. I like to say I have with him, as well. Just like any relationship, I guess.  Although, I think I was a little more broken than he was. He was just more exposed. Which to me, says mine was buried just a bit deeper. That is for another time, however. Kevin is a professional who owns his own business, and I manage his office. Not my favorite job, I might add, although, I’m grateful for work.  Again, another time.

I’m excited to see how my own personal writing evolves and to be able to look back on these entries. Now, it’s time to take the kids to the movie I promised them.

Leave a Reply